Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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