thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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