we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
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Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
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when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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