Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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