does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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