dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
