Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
