I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
