: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
