You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
