You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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