There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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