Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
