Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
