hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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