Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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