So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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