Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
