You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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