so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
