if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
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He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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