So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
