I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
