she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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