Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
