Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize