did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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