Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
