Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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