i just made my gag reflex go away.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Your penis caused this!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
