is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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