Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
