I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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