I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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