I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I did not marry a roomba.
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