I must be too annoying 4 u.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
