his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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