dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
