we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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