i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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