My hand turned me down
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
