The brown eye won't let me do that either.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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