yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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