you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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