did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
