Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
