Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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