dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize