I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
