If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
