do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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