There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
