I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize