i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
