he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
